meaningless struggles

I'll never be
clever, brave, charming
Nor have in my possession,
some smile capable of disarming
I would never trade my dismay,
or this perpetual void,
for the moment you'd stay, for then
I'd become android.
Not, not this flawed
weak, scared, small,
mass of self-doubt,
trying to stand tall
No, I would never,
push the button,
pull the lever
try to be
anything better,
than this pitiful human that I am,
arrogant and proud,
in my meaningless struggles.