Back to the basics

Dancing breezes, souls soar,
Moving subtly across the floor,
The figures trace,
a moment later,
they erase
Atoms vibrate,
As sounds separate,
Travel through space,
and they fade away
out of perception

Creation is the act of letting go, of sharing a part of your soul with the universe, and letting it become an imprint. An imprint is not a thing. It is a shape, not a form, made of space, not of matter. The nature of the universe is not matter, nor is it space. Because as the two dance, they create form, a subtle manifestation of each, definable as neither, and inherent to everything.

Rocks skipping on an endless pond,

What is the word for a sound that fades, for an action whose reactions reverberate endlessly, for a word that travels, long after it has been uttered and forgotten?

On lesson plans, bicycling accidents, and being overwhelmed.

I woke up bright and early Thursday morning to head over to Breakthrough orientation. I had a good breakfast, and was in good spirits. I was riding my bike on pretty roads after the night rains, and I was rather exhilarated. Suddenly, as I turned a corner, my bike lost traction, and I went flying into the next lane, a few meters in front of a car. Luckily, it stopped, but I continue rolling, and accumulated several injuries.
Listed in order of disabling nature:
1. Right elbow, minor scratch
2. Left elbow, various scrapes and scratches
3. Both shoulders, limited mobility
4. Left hand, bruise on my palm - more disabling than it sounds
5. Right knee, greatly swollen, limits mobility

I have been unable to train seriously in over a week, and I find this quite upsetting.

Breakthrough, however, is going well. I am learning a lot about teaching styles and classroom management, as well as preparing lesson plans. I have many roles and responsibilities, more than I expected when I signed up for this position, but I am greatly enjoying this challenge. Mornings start at 7 a.m. and although I leave the school at 5p.m., I am still working on lesson plans, activities, etc, well into the evening.

I still need to find housing and an assistantship for Boston College. I need to figure out insurance while I am up there. But I'm working on these things.

I am going to Istanbul, Turkey and Paris, France with Aylin. I am in a bit of disbelief that this is real, but I know it is, and I am greatly looking forward to such an experience.

In the next 6 weeks, there are several things I must accomplish or work on:
1. Breakthrough
2. Training - Capoeira, Parkour, Heavy Bag
3. Boston College - Housing, Assistantship, Insurance
4. Practice French and Portuguese
5. Meditate daily (going quite well)
6. Practice quenna and berimbau
7. Continue to work on my creativity exercises

Well, that is all. I love the rain, I love my tea, and I love meandering and purposeless walks.

Eudaimonia and Training

Until recently, I could not accurately describe what I love about parkour and capoeira. But after some study of personal expressiveness, flow, and intrinsic motivation, I think I have found a plausible reason:

It is postulated that we are capable of achieving eudaimonia, a state in which we are enjoying the development of specific potentialities that we value.

This is not hedonism; it is not the pursuit of pleasure that inspires parkour, although it does induce pleasure (the best things in life also feel amazing).

So why do some choose parkour as opposed to other sports that may be more socially acceptable?

The reason is the significance we place (unintentionally, that is to say, an uncontrived sense of significance, which is an indication of a person's true self) upon the element of specific potentialities. Parkour (and capoeira) places primary emphasis on potentialities such as balance, agility, strength, fluidity, mental and physical flow, bodily and spatial awareness, etc. If a person views these things as fundamentally attractive, then they will be drawn to the sport.

I suppose this is obvious to some, but I tend to find myself doubting my own reasons and motives for training parkour or capoeira.

Films and Books

Films:
Mindgame
Donnie Darko
Pi
Happy Accidents
Dark City
Life is Beautiful
Apres Vous
Trainspotting
Great Expectations
Requiem For a Dream
Happenstance
Magnolia
V for Vendetta
Lord of War
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. And Spring...

Books:
Awakening the Buddha Within
If you Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!
No Exit
Zen and the Brain
Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind
When Nietzsche Wept

Stripping Noun-hood

Strip away the noun-hood of God. Attribute to it the virtue of process. Terminate the reference to a God for which you search, and rediscover the act of God which you live.

Lessons

Each day a new lesson
Mistakes jettison
us forward
Propel us towards unattainable perfection
clearest reflection
of an inner state too great to describe
by the intellectual process of the homonuculus scribe

A test whose questions are just being invented as they are answered

Clouds Hanging

Clouds hanging, like the dead man swinging
Trees moving like the wind singing,
Subtle beautiful
Like a tranquil breeze the people pass
With cosmic ease, Peace at last,
With neurons firing
Each moment a still-frame of movement,
Perplexing but inspiring.

Leave a Mark

Leave a mark,
But make it define you express you carry you
as a flame from a candle
extend from the source
and
ignite
a thousand more

like a drop in the sea
isolated, but with endless significance

As the world opens,
fears rise, fears fall
like the passing of breath
Culminating
Dissipating
Within the expanse of my chest.

My lover has two names. But innumerable ways of raising my soul.

The Letter "S"

I love the hiss of the letter S. Like slitted eyes that see so much more than you think, the letter S is slippery and serpentine. Fundamentally female, she whispers off the lips, lingers a few seconds before escaping slowly, subtly, and imperceptibly into the void of quietude.

> ess, shhh, ssssss, se

Communicating

It is only now that I realize how difficult and yet fundamentally important it is to communicate affection, appreciation, and love.

I feel it in my heart, a yearning... not so much to release something as a burst, but perhaps more as a breath...

Terrified And Excited

In little more than 2 weeks, I will be standing before a small class of 4 or 5 middle school students. For the next 6 weeks, I will teach them planetary science. I will have to come up with innovative, hands-on, interactive, participatory, and exploratory methods to teach and learn the basics of planetary science. After lunch, during "Exploratory Electives," I will be teaching "Movement: Dance, Martial Arts, and Fitness."

I am not a teacher. I am a student. And I a student trembling with fear, anticipation, uncertainty, excitement, insecurity, and a massive dosage of curiosity.

I will be working through Breakthrough Collaborative, a program in which I was once a student. Breakthrough is an educational program that prepares disadvantaged students to become more engaged in the world of academia; the program will prepare them, and actively help them enter and graduate from college preparatory high schools, and then university. They have an amazing rate of success, with a rate of college entrance double that of the original demographics from which the students come.

I am afraid.

I do not know if I am ready for this. I am not a teacher. The day begins at 8:00am. It ends at 6:00p.m. Then I grade, prepare, and consult. I am afraid that I am not sufficient, that my strength is not enough.

I am excited.

I know I will grow enormously from this experience and just as important, I will contribute something I consider incomprehensibly valuable to individual students, and the social web to which we all belong.

And I will discover whether or not I am strong, in a sense that I am unable to convey, but value more than anything else.